Weight – obsession or proper health management?

I would really like to lose weight (again). (I say this as I have my second cup of sweetened tea, with a side of the peach cobbler I made last night, knowing full well that I was the one that would end up eating most of it…but I figured, hey, I used fructose instead of sugar, that’s got to count for something?).

I started this blog in order to get real about why I’m struggling with weight loss (ok, and it was a fun new thing to start, so perhaps there was a tiny bit of procrastination in there?). A couple of years ago, I joined WW and got down to a goal weight that I and my doctor were comfortable with. She told me not to go too low because I needed the hormone production since we have been trying for a second child – yeay, what a great excuse to latch onto! Anyway, if you like, you can see my before/after pictures and read about that journey, though it is old now.

However, since then, my weight has crept up…5…10…15 pounds. It’s not a constant climb…I think I’m doing fine, maintaining at a weight, though it might not be the one I want, but at least I’m maintaining, and then boom! Life happens. Vacation, fertility drugs (well, not really but that’s the simple explanation) , stress, and I’m up a pound. I figure, well, it’s just a pound or two…I just need to eat better for a little while and it will come off…and part of it does, but at the end of the year the totals don’t lie.

So then I justify to myself that this is just a cultural obsession; I’m reasonably healthy and shouldn’t buy into this whole focus on weight. I justify that I am a Busy Woman. I have enough on my plate. And anyway, it just doesn’t seem fair that I have to worry about this with all of the other stuff I worry about! I work hard, I deserve my peach cobbler!

However, when I really connect with my own goals, my sense of self, this is something I want to do. It may be an obsession, but gosh darn, it is my obsession. I deserve to be able to go after my goals and be successful at them. It’s not a judgment of anyone else’s goals and priorities. And my life isn’t happening to me. I don’t want to be a victim of my own life – I want to be the owner, the leader.

So, I’m going to stop whining and do, or not do. Each day, each bite, is a choice I make. I may not make the same choice each time, but I have choice. I know I won’t do this alone and will need help along the way. So the next time I start whining, send me back to this post, OK?

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