Deja-Vu

Last week I found on my desk a small scrap of paper that said, “3/7, 9:00”. I looked on my calendar and saw nothing at that time (am or pm), but I did vaguely remember a phone call where I had said, “I don’t have my calendar but I think that will work”, and specifically written down a time so I wouldn’t forget to add it to my calendar.

My memory is very odd. In talking with others, I get the impression that a memory is either there, or it is not. Mine reminds me of a statistics class I took in college (though I remember very little of that either) where there are no certainties, just possibilities of greater or lessor probability. I will take a clue – for example the scrap of paper, and compare it to various possibilities in my head, evaluating the probability…”It must be AM, because I never make appointments that late and I think it would have stuck in my memory if I did. It has to be current, because it’s a bit of paper from my scrapbooking (and being in the basement would be consistent with not having my calendar). Could it be meeting a friend for coffee? No, I would have known hubby would be at work. Could it be a client? Possibly – I ran through the ones I could recall offhand and none seemed to match. Etc.” Often, I will run various scenarios through my head, looking for a “deja-vu” type of feeling, and the situation I will pick as correct is just one that feels the most real. I had to assume that the scrap and the memory of the phone call were tied together (that clicked in as, ‘yup, that feels right’) but for the life of me, couldn’t figure out who was on the other end of the phone.

Perhaps the scrap meant something entirely different; maybe “3/7 9:00” has some other meaning (like a movie that has clues that seem obviously one thing but are really another). I guess I’ll never know….3/7 came and went and nothing happened….kind of disappointing actually!

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