Happiness, Meaning, and Prioritization

In a women’s group last night, the facilitator (the wonderful Sharon Greenlee, who will be re-running her series in April) listed one of the components of happiness as meaning.  We asked ourselves, “What would bring more meaning to my life?”

My answer was writing and more coaching.  Both are times I feel very connected to my true purpose.

Yet somehow, I rarely actually do any writing, and I’ve been letting coaching come to me, rather than promoting it.  I realized this morning that it is not lack of desire that is my problem – it’s lack of prioritization.  Yesterday I spent probably an hour researching horse bits for a friend’s daughter.  Mind you, this was joyfully done and was appreciated.  I don’t regret having done it as I learned a lot myself.  However, it certainly wasn’t “on purpose” (pun intended).  (The 1/2 hour or more I spent reading the biography of a friend’s friend who is a now-famous romance novelist really didn’t meet either criteria, unfortunately).

I rarely think, “Oh, I regret having done that” (unless it comes to email); in fact I pride myself on my recently found ability to (usually) stay connected to my feelings and stop doing something if it is not serving me (except reading email).  The problem, rather, is the opposite – I have so many productive, interesting things I would love to do!  So instead of choosing them, I often let them choose me.

This morning I realized that when I don’t consciously choose an activity, it’s still a form of “wasting” time.  This does not mean I will stop all of those activities.  I probably will still choose to sit and relax by watching TV – that is a valid choice when I need to unwind.   But when I intend to watch a few minutes, and instead I watch an hour while cleaning the kitchen, that is an hour I could have spent more purposefully.  Yes, of course, the kitchen needs to get cleaned – but not necessarily several times a day, nor at a “high energy” time when I could be much more productive, or in a rare alone moment when I could be doing something nurturing for myself.

I cleaned out the car today, vacuuming and wiping down some pretty filthy surfaces and windows even though technically, running it through the carwash would have been sufficient.  It did feel good to get it done.  But, it felt even better to stop myself from picking up more of such tasks, and simply to sit down and start writing.

One Comment

  1. Tina Russell:

    I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

    Tina Russell

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